* Cravings

When we talk about cravings, most of us think of a pregnant lady wanting some strange combination of foods like pickles and ice cream but in reality, we all have some type of craving. My cravings are definitely food based. I wish I could say I craved the foods that were good for me but in all honesty, I don’t. My worst ones are chocolate and ice cream. I try not to keep them in my house because I am just too tempted and don’t have a lot of self-control when they’re around. I’ve struggled with this since I was teenager and my cravings have a negative effect on my weight, which affects my health and then in turn my self-esteem.

Then there are people who crave attention. They want to be the center of everything and when they walk into a room, you know it! Others crave things; the more things they have, the more they seem to want.

Cravings can also become additions when it involves drugs or alcohol. I have known several people who turned to both of these things after a bout with cancer. They were either trying to stop the physical pain or did not want to deal with the mental pain the disease brings.

The problem is that cravings provide us with temporary satisfaction but never give us the long-term fulfillment we seek. I wish I could tell you that there is a simple, magic answer for our cravings but I can’t. We have to work every day to overcome them. Most importantly though, we need to give them to Jesus and let Him hold onto them so we don’t have to go it alone.

Blessings, Cindy J

* Focus on the Vertical

When something goes wrong, most of us want to focus on what’s right beside us and the things we can see and understand. Unfortunately, that’s not always the best place to look especially when you’re dealing with a diagnosis like cancer or some other life altering occurrence. What’s happening can literally take our breath away and we go into survival mode. How in the world can we deal with something if we can’t even comprehend it or believe that it’s happening to us?

Oh, my friend, I have an answer! Look up and find God. Focus on the vertical and let the horizontal be for now. I don’t share often enough how much my faith has been such an important part of my recovery. Many times, I panic and wonder how in the world I am going to deal with the newest health development or lately with the heart wrenching crises some of my friends have been going through. Then I remember; I don’t have to do it alone.

While I was attending a summer church camp with my youngest son, a speaker shared these words of advice and they are as timely now as they were then. “Focus on the vertical (God), make it internal and then spread it to the horizontal.” In plain words that means to focus on and put your trust in God, make Him a part of your heart and life and then you can deal with what’s going on in the horizontal. I figure if God could send His only son Jesus to Earth knowing that he would die a horrible death on the cross, then He’s also going to care about and help me face whatever comes my way. I find great comfort in that, even on my toughest days.

Look up my friend; look up.

Blessings, Cindy J

* The Big Picture

True confession time here, I’ve recently become a huge fan of the Marvel Avengers movies. I never would have guessed how much I enjoy watching them and learning the stories of all the characters. Just when you think you have it all figured out, you find out another piece of the story. It all started one Saturday evening when my husband and I got interested in Guardians of the Galaxy. It was hilarious, so of course I had to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. During this movie, I discovered there were other characters known as the Avengers and I wanted to know more. Thus began my quest by starting at the beginning with Captain America. The more movies I watched, the more I wanted to find out. Each character has a back story of how and why they became an Avenger.

If you really stop to think about it, aren’t all of us like that? Everyone has a story and that story helps determine who you become in life. Unless we stop to take a look at the big picture and try to put all the details together, we often judge people for what we see in the here and now. Many of their life experiences have made their story different from yours. It could have been an illness like cancer, grief, abuse or any number of life altering events.

 Here’s some good news that will help. I know someone who always looks at the big picture, His name is Jesus. He knows ALL of our life story and still loves us anyway. Maybe if we took more time to get to know someone, we’d be a little more tolerant as well.

So while I’m waiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 to come out in 2023, I’ll keep learning more of the story so I’ll be ready. Kind of a great lesson for life; don’t you think?

Blessings, Cindy J



* I am a Survivor!

This past Monday night thanks to my sweet husband, I attended the NC State Play4Kay women’s basketball game. The idea for the game began when head coach Kay Yow, who was going through breast cancer, wanted to find a way to both raise awareness for the disease and more importantly, dollars for research.  The event began as Hoops for Hope but after Kay lost her battle with breast cancer in 2009 it became known as the Play4Kay game.  As part of the event, breast cancer survivors are invited to walk out onto Kay Yow court at Reynolds Coliseum during halftime of the game to celebrate being a survivor. I was a part of the 11–15 year group and what an honor it was to join with these ladies in celebrating our years of survivorship.

Kay’s motto was, “When life kicks you, let it kick you forward.” As a survivor, I have tried to live my life in a positive way and do what I can to help others who are also taking the cancer journey.  I believe it is by working together to fight this disease that we make the biggest impact. Apparently, so did Coach Yow. The Kay Yow cancer foundation raised over $500,000 Monday for women’s cancer research.

I am proud to say that I AM A SURVIVOR! Whatever it is that you are surviving or have survived, be proud of the progress you’ve made and honor your struggle by helping others. You, too, are a survivor!

Blessings, Cindy J

* A Sweet Baby Boy

In January of 2021, a sweet baby boy came into our lives. He is my grandson Phillip Henry, named for two of his great grandpas. As with both of my other grandchildren, two very special little girls, the love was instantaneous and what a gift they have been in my life. Phillip is a happy, affectionate little boy who is full of personality and loves to laugh.  This baby boy wants for nothing and has been showered with gifts from the moment he was born. He has a crib to sleep in and many beautiful handmade blankets to wrap up in for warmth.

On a cold December night over 2,000 years ago, another sweet baby boy was born. His parents had no place to stay because all the rooms in the inn were full. There wasn’t even a crib to place the newborn baby in, only a simple manger. No blankets either, only cloth to swaddle him in. However, the baby was celebrated just like our Phillip and continues to be celebrated to this very day. Angels sang to announce his birth to shepherds who immediately went to see the Christ child.  Wise men came from afar to bring him expensive gifts. His name was Jesus and his Mama pondered all these happenings in her heart.

Baby Jesus was a gift that changed the world just like Walker, Margot and Phillip changed my world by filling it with more love than I could ever imagine. As we begin this new year, let us not forget to celebrate the birth of this sweet baby boy; the gift God gave us of eternal life through his one and only Son Jesus. We are truly blessed.

Blessings, Cindy J

* I Press On

Lately I haven’t felt a lot like writing. I enjoy it and it provides an outlet for me to express my feelings but it just seems difficult. There are many times we all feel like that in life. We have things we love to do but just can’t seem to find the energy to complete the action. That’s when it is the most important to press on!

As we enter this season of Thanksgiving, it’s important to be thankful for the gifts and blessings God has given each of us.  My writing serves an important purpose for me but also for those who read my words. So, I press on and keep writing. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you through this blog.

Blessings, Cindy J

* Make it a Pink October

Yes, it’s October; breast cancer awareness month. The time of year when everyone wears pink to honor those who have fought the breast cancer fight, are currently fighting or have lost their battle. My message today is to practice prevention. If you are over the age of 50, please get an annual mammogram! For those of you who have a family history of breast cancer, talk with your doctor at age 40. Men, encourage your wives, moms and significant others to schedule their mammogram. So many people have let appointments like this lapse during the height of the COVID pandemic. Take care of it today!

I am here to tell you that a mammogram saved my life. My maternal grandmother died from breast cancer along with an aunt. Another one of my Mama’s sisters has been through a lumpectomy and various treatments for breast cancer. It’s in my genes so I try to be vigilant. Even though I’ve had annual mammograms since the age of 40, I was diagnosed with stage 2B triple negative breast cancer at the age of 52. The cancer had already spread to my lymph nodes in just one short year. Just think how much worse it could have been if I were not being screened every year.

Prevention is the key to survival. The earlier breast cancer or any cancer is diagnosed, the greater the chances of survival. Be proactive and get your annual mammogram or other cancer screening scheduled ASAP!

Blessings, Cindy J

* Life, Love and Loss

Longevity reigns supreme in the Jennings’ family when it comes to pets. We just recently lost our sweet Maggie girl, a golden retriever, after 14 ½ years of unconditional love on her part. It seems all of our animals tend to stick around for a while once we bring them home. The first pet I ever remember having as a child was a little cocker spaniel named Brownie. I can’t remember how long we had her but I do have a picture of me as a little girl with my arm around her neck, a look of contentment on both our faces. Then there was my favorite cat growing up; a big yellow tabby whose name was Yellow.  He met his demise in the engine of my Mama’s car and since he was an old cat, didn’t survive the trauma of the accident.

Fast forward to marriage and children which brought us our Beetle or Bea girl as I called her. She was just a little ball of black fur when we told our neighbor we would take one of the mixed breed puppies they found themselves “surprised” with. She was Ryan’s dog and loved and protected him for 15 years. Every day she would walk the property lines around our house to investigate and make sure everything was okay. We lost her when Ryan was in college and I vowed we would never get another dog because it was just too hard to make the decision to put her to sleep.

Nike and Bear were the kittens of Lucky, a stray we rescued after we saw her take a tumble out from under a truck on a busy highway. Her girls, sisters, lived to be 19 years old. They were always outside cats and we never had a mouse or creature ever enter our house. Those girls were fierce hunters and always on patrol.

That brings us back to Maggie. When my youngest son Sam left for college, I knew this empty nester needed someone to care for so, sweet Maggie came into our lives. I don’t think I’ve ever known a smarter, more loving dog. Losing her has been difficult. 

Life is full of love and loss. Letting go is so very hard but not having had the chance to love is even harder. Pets teach us a lot of life lessons about loving and letting go. So, love people, life, pets, etc. as much as you can while you can. Then be prepared that inevitably, we all have to let go.

Blessings, Cindy J

* Just Go

My husband and I had been talking about going to Alaska since I retired four years ago. Every summer we’d find some reason not to go. So in January of 2020 I finally told him, “let’s just go” and I paid the deposit. Of course, we all know what happened; COVID hit and again our trip was postponed. Just last month in August 2021, we were finally able to take that trip. All I can say is that it was truly amazing and more beautiful than pictures can ever show. It made us realize that now is the time to travel and go to all the places we’ve talked about. We both are currently healthy enough to do things and walk with relative ease. There’s no reason to put it off any longer. Several times during our trip my husband said, “I’m so glad you talked me into this.”

We convince ourselves that we’ll go see that friend or family member we’ve wanted to visit another day or we’ll wait until things slow down before we take time off for a vacation. My advice to you is go ahead and do it! Not one of us knows what the future holds but I live with the possibility that one day my cancer may return. It truly makes me cherish the here and now. I want to spend as much time as I can with the people I love. I want to visit more of the beautiful cities in the USA and when it’s safe, I still want to go to Italy and Greece with my girlfriends.

Today I leave you with a simple question…what’s stopping you? Just go!

Blessings, Cindy J

* Look Around

For all you fans of theater and the show Hamilton, no this is not a tribute to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s song but he does bring up a good point.  Even Dr. Seuss said you need to see sights and pay attention. To do that you have to do more than just look straight ahead; you must look around. If we always look straight ahead, we miss so many things.

When I’m at the beach, if I don’t look up, I miss the beautiful clouds and the bluest sky; not to mention the sunrise and sunsets. If I don’t look down, I’ll miss all the intricacies of the seashells at my feet. Not looking to the side would cause me to miss the waves as they break on the beach or a pod of dolphins swimming by. And what about the people? Families having fun, friends sharing conversations and people like me just taking some time to relax and read a good book. They always bring a smile to my face.

As we go through life, so much of the time we have on blinders and only see the things in front of us that pertain to our world. Guess what? Other people and things are out there and they have a lot to offer you. So my friends, LOOK AROUND! This world really is a beautiful place.

Blessings, Cindy J