* Broken

*Note: Normally my blog posts are meant to be uplifting and positive. I want you to think about and understand what someone who is diagnosed with cancer feels by sharing some of my struggles and how I have worked to overcome them. Today’s post does that but it comes from a very different perspective than usual. There are times that as a survivor/thriver you do go to a dark place and I think it is equally important to deal with those issues as well.

When something has been broken, it can’t be put back together and expected to be the same. Sure, it can be taped, glued, repaired, etc. but it has been forever changed and let’s face it; it’s still broken. Mended yes, but broken. That’s kind of the way your body feels after a mastectomy; broken. I will never look the same again. My clothes will never fit quite the same way as before. When I look in the mirror I see the scars of my brokenness. Even breast cancer survivors who were fortunate enough to only have a lumpectomy, still face the fact that in some way their body has been broken. It’s an emotional as well as a physical struggle.

We desperately want to rid our body of the cancer that is making us sick and will do whatever it takes to make that happen. We put ourselves through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, each one causing side effects that forever change our bodies. The treatments meant to save our lives can cause brokenness not only of our body but our spirits as well. It’s a challenging time.

Here’s the upside in all this; broken is temporary. Indeed, being broken causes changes but the lesson in all this is how you face the challenges of these changes. Some people never recover. They allow the brokenness to consume them and never feel the freedom of letting go. Recovering from brokenness is a daily choice. My strength to deal with this comes from my faith in God. He surrounds me with friends and family who support and love me. I use my words in this blog and my journal to heal my emotional turmoil.  Being broken allows us to make positive changes and move forward in our lives. It takes us to a new place where we don’t have to be perfect. I like to think that maybe, just maybe, in the process of being broken we become even better than before.

Blessings, Cindy J

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