I can’t tell you how many times I used to say to my boys when they were younger, “Now, hold my hand and do not let go.” It was my way of protecting them from the dangers of the world. Plus, I just liked having them place their little hand in mine. My youngest in particular had a habit of darting ahead and getting into trouble so I was always careful to hold firmly onto his hand!  When couples first start dating, they always hold each other’s hands as they walk along. It’s their way of sharing the newness of their relationship. When we meet someone for the first time, many times we shake hands with them. When you’re sad and a friend reaches over and puts their hand on yours, it’s comforting. Holding hands is important to us for many reasons; it’s how we stay connected to one another

In these times of COVID-19, we are discouraged from touching hands and we’ve lost that important connection. Elbow bumps just aren’t the same as having that physical contact with one another. I will be glad for the day when I can look at someone and say, “Hold my hand”. It’s much easier to navigate this world when we hold onto each other. Plus, it’s just a whole lot better with someone by your side. Hang on tight and don’t let go.

Blessings, Cindy J

My front porch is home to many, many spiders. I’m not sure why they like my porch so much, but they do! I can knock down their webs in the morning and by evening they’ve built them back again. They are persistent little creatures. I guess I have to admit that I do admire their tenacity as well as their handiwork. I often wonder how something so small can create such an intricate work of art.

One of my favorite webs is created by the black and yellow garden spider. Their web has the most unique crisscross pattern and when it is covered in the morning dew, well it is simply awe inspiring. Again I ask, how in the world do they know exactly how to weave that particular pattern? The answer is that it is other worldly. In short, it’s a God thing. It’s the way He created them to be in nature.

We can learn a lot from spiders. Obviously, they don’t give up easily and they make no apologies for building the webs that help them survive. Their web after all is how they snag their meals!  If we as humans had to work that hard to survive, I wonder how we would fare? Yet there are times when we do feel unsure of how we are going to make it to the next day. That’s when our inner strength and courage kick in. For me, that’s a strength that comes from my faith.

So, be like a spider. Work hard. Don’t give up when someone or something tears down your web. Press forward.  Create a thing of beauty with your life regardless of the odds you face. Get out there and build your web anyway.

Blessings, Cindy J

When my boys were younger, we used to spend a week at the beach every summer with family. In fact, any time we could sneak away for a day at the beach was a special treat. One of their favorite things to do was gather seashells in their sand buckets. When I was in our storage building the other day, I found one of those old sand buckets and it was full of guess what; seashells! I started thinking about those shells in that bucket and what a bucket full of memories it contains.

Each one of those shells was lovingly chosen by one of my sons for some reason. There was always a “look at this one, Mom. It’s so big! Or isn’t this one a pretty color?” My youngest son always made us laugh because he used to call them “she shells”. Every single one of those shells is a memory of a day full of adventures. For me now, it is a memory of a mother-son bond we once shared. Now my sons are creating bonds with their wives, daughters and future children. The mama bond though remains forever in my heart.

Just like that bucket of seashells was collected, I encourage you to collect and make precious memories with the people you love. Those memories and the bonds of love you share will always be a part of what makes you the unique person you are. Now, get out your bucket, take along your favorite people and find some shells!

Blessings, Cindy J

In reading things that I write, you may often hear me say that I love the beach because, well I LOVE THE BEACH! It is my happy place. It is where I can take a good book, sit in my chair, put my toes in the sand, feel a cool breeze and gaze out at God’s beautiful ocean. A pretty extensive list but it really doesn’t get much better than that for me unless I’m with family.  While reading a devotional in Praying Through Cancer: Set Your Heart Free from Fear by Susan Sorensen and Laura Geist, the tip for the day was to find a symbol that reminds you of hope. I started thinking about what kind of symbol I could have that would remind me of the journey I have taken since being diagnosed with cancer. Of course, I knew it had to be something related to the beach because that is my place of refuge and peace. The symbol I chose was sea glass.

You might think the obvious choice would be a sea shell because they are everywhere at the beach and each one is different. Although I do love a beautiful shell, I really wanted something to represent my struggle. Sea glass goes into the ocean as an ugly, jagged piece of broken glass. It is through the process of being tossed and churned through the waves and scrapping along the sand in the bottom of the ocean that it begins to smooth out and develop its own unique character. It’s the struggle that makes it so beautiful.

Sea glass is a rare find when you’re on the beach and just like a sea shell, each piece is unique. It comes in all different sizes and colors based on what it looked like before it entered the ocean. Cancer is much like sea glass. It comes in many types and can have many different outcomes but for those who survive the struggle, it is life altering. Just as many of life’s’ struggles can be. I feel I am now a piece of sea glass made beautiful on the inside by all the turmoil of cancer. It gives me hope for the future. If you’ve had cancer, I pray you find your symbol of hope, too.

Blessings, Cindy J

I had heard stories about Scott and what a great guy he was long before I ever met him. It wasn’t until both of us had been diagnosed with cancer that we actually met face to face.

Scott taught me how to live with dignity while enduring this disease and to get the most out of every minute life has to offer. He used to say, “either way I win.” If God allows me to stay here on Earth, then I get to spend more time with my family. If I don’t, then I get to be in heaven. Like he said, it was indeed a Win-Win situation.

After a long, hard fight, Scott died on Father’s Day 2010. He promised his family that somehow, he would let them know that he was okay and in a better place. Right after he died, a beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky and they all knew it was Scott saying, “I’m here in heaven and I’m at peace.” His family and friends continue to receive what Scott used to call “God winks” in the form of rainbows. It brings them comfort to know that he did indeed win.

I’d like to leave you with the prayer Scott shared with me as a help in dealing with my cancer diagnosis…

“Father, you’re the giver of days. Grant in mercy an extension for me. Again I ask – Lord may it be? I know your power. Stop this cancer, if you with your purpose for my life will to make that your pleasure. Amen.”

Rainbows are full of promises and each time I see one, I think of Scott and the prayer he had for me. I want to make Scott proud and pray that he sees I am faithfully trying to fulfill the purpose God has for my life. I promise.

Blessings, Cindy J

“Hate is a strong word. It’s the right word but still.”- from the movie Boss Baby. I agree that hate is a very strong word but I’m not sure I agree it is the right word. Yet there are things that I hate. I hate cancer. I mean I really, really hate cancer. However, it is definitely a word you should use with caution.

Hate is a heavy word. It weighs down your heart and soul. If you’re not careful, it can take over your emotions and cause bitterness. Hate is not meant to be carried around long term. Eventually the burden of hate becomes so heavy it affects not only your health but your relationships as well.

The best thing to do with hate is acknowledge its presence, then find a way to let it go. When hate is directed at a person, forgiveness can be healing. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget or that what the person did to you is okay but it does free YOU to move forward. If hate is directed at circumstances like cancer or death, then acceptance of the fact that this has happened allows you to find a way through the turmoil. Either way, hate has to be replaced with a more positive emotion in order for you to survive.

What will you do with the weight of hate? Will you carry it around until it becomes too heavy for you to bare or will you replace it with another strong word like love, forgiveness or acceptance? You are the only person that can make that choice so choose wisely my friend.

Blessings, Cindy J

I used to be in charge of the world; at least that’s the way I acted sometimes. But when I was diagnosed with cancer, I decided that I needed to quit.  I gave up the job and what a relief it has been. Cancer helped me to understand that I could just let God be in control. He’s a lot better at it than I ever was so why did it take me so long to realize that fact? Yet, I really do already know the answer; it is about trust.

If I’m in charge, then I know things will be done the right way, which of course is my way. I don’t have to worry about people letting me down. If I don’t let them do something then they won’t back out on me at the last minute or fail to take care of the details I think are needed to complete a task. What I have learned is that everything really will get done and as my oldest son once told me, “my right way is not always the best right way”. He figures things out a lot quicker than his Mom.

I also finally realized that this is not realistic. No one can bear the burden of being in charge all the time. It is unsustainable and frankly exhausting. When I was sick, other people took care of things for me at work, they helped me out at home, brought dinner to my husband and me; all in an effort to help me rest and heal. Once I was better, I did not want to take on that burden all by myself again. There truly is strength in numbers!

I’m much happier now that I don’t carry the burden of the world on my shoulders. I can relax and enjoy things a little more. I have to admit that sometimes I want to slip back into old habits but God quickly reminds me that it is not my responsibility. He just wants me to love His people. So, I urge you today to trust others and give up the burdens that hinder you. Joy is waiting!

Blessings, Cindy J

What does ordinary look like? Well, it depends. Everyone has a different ordinary that is just right for them. For most of us, ordinary is our normal. Ordinary is comforting. Ordinary is good. We get in trouble when we try to compare our ordinary with other people’s ordinary because we each have a different version.

Yes, there is comfort in the ordinary. It’s what we fall back on when things seem too overwhelming. I’m not one to read my daily horoscope or take a lot of stock in the signs of the Zodiac, but my sign is Cancer the Crab. Just like the crab, I crawl back up into my shell and hide when things aren’t ordinary. I like knowing the plan and what is going to happen next. Ordinary helps me stay in control.

Then along comes cancer, sickness and disease. Nothing is ordinary and we must learn to cope another way. We want our ordinary life back and our ordinary way of doing things but that is not to be for the foreseeable future. Everyone tries to tell you the best way to deal with this disease but they are not you. The worst part is the ones who try to give you the most advice are the ones who’ve never been through what you’re going through. They think they can compare their ordinary to yours or make your ordinary less important. They can’t and they shouldn’t.

You CAN listen to those who have been through what you’re going through. They have both knowledge and insight about this journey you are on. Ultimately though, you have to decide what your ordinary will be. Will you go back to your life before or will you develop a new ordinary; maybe even a better one? If your ordinary changes with what you’ve learned, then you’ll be all the wiser for the experiences you’ve endured. Ordinary is for YOU to decide!

Blessings, Cindy J

Agriculture is a huge part of the economy in Eastern North Carolina where I live. Everywhere you go in my county there are fields of soybeans, corn, cabbage, potatoes, cotton and wheat. All this doesn’t just happen by accident. Without the proper equipment, good soil, fertilizer, sun and water, a plant just won’t grow. Then there’s problems like hurricanes, hail storms, deer, geese and other things that can damage even a healthy crop. To put it simply, it takes a lot of work!

There are also things in our lives that we need to cultivate. Thankfulness is one. Every day we need to find something, no matter how insignificant it may seem, to be thankful for. It is an attitude that needs to be nurtured and cultivated for it to grow.

Family relationships take a lot of time to cultivate as do relationships with friends but the dividend is a bountiful crop of people who will stand by you in both good times and bad times.

Lastly, practicing a healthy lifestyle must be cultivated. It takes planning and prioritizing to eat right, exercise and let go of stress. As I get older, I have come to appreciate the benefits of meditation. I choose to do mine early in the morning by reading the scriptures and spending time with God. I have also learned the art of letting go and being quiet by practicing yoga.

Just like those crops that need to be prepared and taken care of on a daily basis, our lives too need the discipline of cultivating to make us stronger. Storms will come, predators may try to sabotage us, crises will occur; it’s not about if, but when they will happen. If we’ve spent the time cultivating the important things, then we can withstand them and produce a harvest of a well lived life.

Blessings, Cindy J